By Lisa Rüdiger

How unsearchable are the ways of the Lord – these words have become very real to me since the Lord led me from Germany via Israel to Kansas City. My name is Lisa Rüdiger and I am an intern from Germany at the DSM office in Grandview.

Before my transition from the Middle East to the Midwest, I spent five and a half years in Jerusalem, first taking care of Holocaust survivors and then serving in the media department of the International Christian Embassy Jerusalem (ICEJ). Comforting the Jewish people (Isaiah 40:1), and telling the truth about what is happening in Israel, motivated me to serve there. The ICEJ’s mandate: “Comfort ye, comfort ye my people,” deepened for me personally when I became involved with another ministry, “Kivun Chadash” (Hebrew for “New Direction”). The devoted staff of “New Direction” has been faithfully running the CrossCurrent Program in Israel for the last 9 years, both in Hebrew and in English.

First as a participant and later as a member of the leadership team, I was privileged to witness how Messianic Jews and Christians (Arab, Armenian and International) received a deeper level of healing in their relational and sexual struggles. In the midst of conflict and terror, the Lord continued what He began in that very place over 2000 years ago – healing, delivering and reconciling us. When my visa expired and the Israeli authorities asked me to leave for at least a year, I asked the Lord for my personal “New Direction” and He led me to apply for an internship at the DSM headquarters in Kansas City. The rest is history…

My internship started in June and has been a very exciting mix of prayer ministry, training, administrative work and adjustment to a new culture. Even though I love Israel dearly and long to return, I am also grateful to have reached some “quieter waters” in the meantime. While in Jerusalem, I felt the need to get better equipped in healing ministry, but life was just too busy. I also realized my need for more healing and empowerment in my personal weaknesses.

In response to sexual and emotional abuse in my childhood, I had developed longstanding patterns of promiscuity, emotional dependency and fantasy, often just “taking off ” into my own little worlds – with real or imagined lovers. Even though my acting- out with real people stopped after getting saved, the fantasies and my tendencies to isolate or to cling to people continued, damaging and threatening healthy relationships, especially with the opposite sex.

What has blessed me most since starting my internship are the power of community and the power of the cross. Confessing my inner struggles in safe group settings (be it with my co-workers at the office, in my accountability group, or in Living Waters) has proven to be the most effective weapon against addictive thought patterns so far. I am so grateful for this new tool and I do see progress in my daily walk, step by step. It amazes me again and again how even a quick phone-call or SMS (or should I say SOS) to a trusted friend can change my emotional and spiritual reality – breaking out of darkness and stepping into the light, receiving forgiveness and cleansing.

Andy’s teachings on the power of the cross are also deeply impacting me. My desperate question, how a loving and caring God could allow the abuse in my childhood, has been answered – on Calvary. The fact that Jesus voluntarily stepped into the most abusive of situations, becoming the forsaken, tortured and abandoned One, so that I could be reconciled to and united with my Heavenly Father, brought so much comfort and healing to me. Not only did He provide a place for my sin, but also for my pain, shame and abandonment. This is the real message of the cross – and after over 5 years in Jerusalem I finally got this part – in Grandview, Missouri. How unsearchable are the ways of the Lord….

From DesertStream.org